Angus Nelson

I was at cocktail party last night.  People were decked out in lovely attire and I was there with my wife and friends.  It was held in a high rise office building 60 stories high, a spectacular view of the city..

At some point in time, a storm rolled in and rain and wind were pelting the glass windows.  This is where things got out of control!  As we were standing, holding conversation with the guests, the floor began to sway under force of the wicked winds which were pushing against the building.  No one else seemed at all disturbed by the occurrence and continued their merry socializing.  I, on the other hand, could not.

The entire building was swaying several feet and I thought for sure this thing was going to come down.

With everything I could, I clamored for the door to the stairwell as the elevator was no longer an option.  Grasping the door frame, then the railing, I called for my wife to come join me.  She just looked at me as if I was crazy!  I pleaded, but she wouldn’t come.

With every sway I became filled with more anxiety and panic.  With every sway the more I grabbed to control the things around me.  With every sway I was sure that my wife, my friends, the building and all would  come to ruins. Everything around us was completely unstable, drifting in directions unknown, and no one knew what the outcome would be.

This is how I woke up yesterday.

Metaphorically, however, I think I’ve woken up that way many days.  Most of my life is completely out of my hands and yet, I somehow try to clamor for control.  Sometimes, I panic or get full of anxiety for reasons that are unfounded or even unlikely.  Usually, I perceive my circumstances to be far worse than they actually are… or ever could be.

Things are not always what they seem, sometimes letting go is more powerful than hanging on.